Adventure On the Rogue

An Oregon Tall Tale

We were up-river with a tour group looking at all the natural beauties here on the Rogue River when I spied a young sasquatch hiding in the shadow of a tree near a gravel bank. I swung the tour-boat around so we could get a better look, and all the tourists exclaimed and took pictures. It’s not too unusual to see a sasquatch in the spring. That’s the time they migrate through here to their summer stomping grounds up North.

We were in for a treat today. The sasquatch jumped out of the shadows suddenly, leapt into the river, and wrestled a seven-foot sturgeon onto the gravel bank. I blinked in astonishment. I didn’t know sasquatch liked sturgeon. As we watched, the sasquatch belted the big fish with a rock to stop its flopping.

Right at that moment, a big black bear came stomping down the bank on the opposite shore looking for a snack. The bear took one look at the sasquatch with the sturgeon, sitting on the opposite shore, and leapt into the water. In the blink of an eye, that ol’ bear was across the river and wading out of the water, while the tourists babbled and took pictures. The bear shook itself dry like a dog, and then jumped onto the back of the sasquatch, beating on him until he ran away from the sturgeon, leaving the bear to sniff in triumph over the large fish.

Well, I thought that was the end of it, until the sasquatch came running back down the hill holding a dead tree in his hands. He started beating on the bear and the bear was whomping back at him something fierce. Fur was flying everywhere; blood spurted out like a geyser. I don’t know where it would have ended if I hadn’t waded in there and broke it up!

retold by

S. E. Schlosser